A friend of mine has recently told me a story about a Facebook group where women all over Australia seek each other’s assistance in various issues; mainly regarding their partner. From general advice, to trying to find out of their partner is cheating – the issues and replies posted here are vast.
This got me curious and before I knew it, I was neck deep in reading these stories. Some of them were mortifying, detailing physical and emotional abuse, women putting up with serial cheaters because they feel powerless and trapped, and some women were simply venting.
I would’ve loved to reply to the majority of stories with simply “Leave now”, but I also know that it is not that easy. So, this got me thinking; how did these women got themselves into these relationships? I would love to ask how that they did not see the warning signs when they started dating these guys.
And this led me to compiling the below list on men not to date under any circumstances. These signs can be easily picked up on the first or second date.
ONE
Mr Huge Ego
You can recognise him easy; even on the first date, he will mainly talk about himself. His accomplishments, his possessions, his passions are the topic of the conversation, while he fails to ask about you. He expects you to be amazed by him, and will become defensive if you don’t bathe him in admiration.
He doesn’t take your likes, dislikes or feelings into account.
Dating someone like this will lead to a lot of other issues down the track. Before you know it, you will find that you only eat at restaurants or visit places that he likes, you will be expected to cut off friends or even family members he doesn’t approve of, and your whole life will revolve around him and his preferences.
TWO
Mr Clueless
Talking to him you will soon realise that he simply goes with the flow. He has no goal in life, he hates schedules or planning ahead, he has no idea what he is doing tomorrow or on the weekend. He seems to think that everything will be alright and puts minimal effort into everything in life.
If you keep dating him, either you will be responsible for organising everything with no input from him whatsoever (this will not stop him criticising you if you didn’t plan as it suits him, or if even minimal effort is required from him), or he will argue with you every time you try to put any sort of plan in place.
If you have a similar personality, your life with him will be chaos, but if you are an organised person, your relationship will be over before you can say “tomorrow’s plans”.
THREE
Mr No Accomplishments
He lives with his mum, or in shared accommodation. His job is entry level, even if he is more mature aged. He blames all this and all his other misfortunes on other people, or circumstances, without taking any responsibility himself. He will ask to split the bill, even on the first date, or even worse, he will pretend that he left his wallet at home and promises to pay next time. He drives a 1989 Holden, or takes public transport.
Really, he wants a mum, or someone to pay his bills. The truth is, you will never get anywhere in life with someone like this. Yes, everyone starts out living with parents, then in shared accommodation, but most of us grow out of this phase by the time we are 20.
FOUR
Mr Booty Call
He has his shirt off in his profile pic (any dating app or social media) showing of his sixpack. If he is dressed, you will get a shirtless photo soon after you start talking, then a dick pick shortly after. Besides being full of himself, these type of men will generally see if they can even get away with not buying you dinner, but to convince you that your first meeting should take place at their residence. They say they will order pizza and you can just Netflix and chill, but will try to rip your clothes off as soon as you enter the door.
There is no future relationship with someone like this, so unless you are just after a quick fun night, run girl.
FIVE
Mr Disrespect
He is late and doesn’t call or text, nor does he apologise on arrival. Orders before you do, doesn’t fill up your glass. Wants to try your food and takes things off your plate, sometimes by hand. Doesn’t dress up for the occasion, can arrive in old, dirty jeans and/or tee-shirt, thongs (flipflops). Talks down on restaurant staff and uses words such as ‘mate’ ‘arvo’ or ‘defo’. His name is Stevo, Johno or Davo. Wants to split the bill in the end.
Congratulations, you are now dating a full-bloodied bogan (or redneck). If you are like me, this date will self-destruct after the first course, unless this is your thing, in which case keep going, but I will not be able to offer advice on anything. Ever.
SIX
Mr Undecided
He could be extremely frustrating being unable to make any decisions; you will have to choose when you meet, where you meet, and pretty much everything else. His reply to everything is; ‘it’s up to you’. Most likely he will order the same that you order and if the question will come up to go on a second date, he will tell you that it’s your call. He has no opinion on anything, he is the polar opposite of Mr Huge Ego. He doesn’t talk about himself, and you will have to force any information out of him to the point that you will think he is hiding something.
You will never have any idea how he feels about you, or about anything else as the matter of fact. Your life with him with be forever doubts, decisions not made and he will always go with whatever you decide.
SEVEN
Mr Repulsive
He has absolutely misrepresented himself on any dating app or social media site by using either his graduation photo (he’s 54 now) or a stock photo of someone else. You can’t even hide your shock when you meet him, but he thinks that it’s ok, because you will fall in love with his personality. Parts of him (or everything) repulses you and you don’t even know how you will make it through the date. At this point you can’t even bring it up that he looks totally different than you expected. Him even touching you makes you throw up in your mouth a bit.
You will never see him again, so there is no need to suffer through the date. Just politely say goodbye and save yourself.
Have you recognised anyone you are dating right now? Run, my friend, run.
Gabi
xx