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10 Secrets Eastern European Women Know About Men

Writer's picture: Gabi Anderson-CourtneyGabi Anderson-Courtney

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Whether you are single, looking for love, dating, in a relationship, or just on your way out of one, there are some things that you need to know about men. These little secrets can give you the upper hand with whatever you are dealing with at the moment. And, these facts are just as relevant when it comes to work relationships, friendships, or as the matter of fact, family.

In Eastern Europe, mothers teach their daughters these little secrets, and pair this knowledge with having to grow up in Eastern Europe – it makes these women strong as nails. Eastern European women possess many of these little secrets, and this is the reason why you can throw them into any environment, and not only they will survive, but they will thrive.

So, I thought, why shouldn’t all women have the knowledge? After all, these little hints will also help you to find the right partner, keep your man happy, or highlight the day when it’s time to leave a relationship.

As I said many times before, as with everything else, there are always exceptions, and yes, not all men fit into these categories, but most of them do. Even just a couple of these details can help you sail through life a little bit easier.



couple in eastern europe

Men do not do anything they do not see a benefit of doing

Men need a reason to do anything, so if you want a man to do something for you, you have to give him a reason to do it. You need to show him the benefit that will come for complying.


You might say ‘But Gabi, there are a lot of philanthropist men out there, who give without expecting anything in return’. While that is true, do you really think that they get nothing in return? WRONG. When you give to charity, what do you get out of it? The feeling that you have done the right thing, that you have helped someone, and that is a very powerful feeling. Dopamine will flood your brain and you walk away on a high. You are making someone else's life better, and in exchange, you will get your hit. It's simple as that and it is a win-win scenario.


You want a man to do something? You need to think of a reason he would want to do it, what he will get out of it, what he will get in the end, or how he will be better off by doing what you want him to do. Then you need to explain it to him. If you can do that, you have already won.


Men want to be inspired

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Why do you think so many artists have muses? To succeed, men need to be inspired. Not only artists, but all men thrive on inspiration. Inspiration has to come either from you, or from something you possess. No matter how beautiful you look, if you cannot hold down a conversation, sooner or later, men will get tired of you. On the other hand, if you combine looks and intelligence, you will become unstoppable. You need the looks to get through the door, but only your brain will keep you in the house.


All men are inspired differently, so you need to find our what a particular man is interested in, what his passion is, what’s his “kryptonite”. Then learn as much as you can about it, and combined with some general knowledge, you will keep him interested. Keep up with current events, read, learn a bit about history, geography, arts and culture, literature, maybe start learning a new language; expand your mind.


Men want to have choices

And it is your job to ensure that they make the right one, while still giving them choices. Let’s say that you are going out for dinner. Normally you would pick a dress to wear, but next time try this; pick the dress you want, then pick another two. Ask your partner to help you decide what to wear. Put on the other two dresses first and while showing them to your partner, make some small comments, like ‘This is nice, but it might be a bit too short’ or ‘I like this one but I’m not sure about the colour’. Finally put on the dress you want to wear and say something like ‘I really like this and last time you said that this suits me’. He will pick the last dress, without a doubt, and he will feel proud that he picked your dress for the night. He will be complimenting you on your looks a lot that night, trust me.


It's all about how you package things. I used this technique a lot when I worked in corporate jobs. If I went to my boss telling him that I want a particular person to get the job on offer, I always encountered resistance, but when I went with a couple of different options and added some small comments on each candidate, I always ended up hiring the person I wanted, and he always felt like that the choice was his.


couple running

Men want to run before they can walk

Men are sprinters, while women do marathons. Most men make decisions quickly, with less information than women require. Of course, like with all rules, there are exceptions, but ask yourself this; when you go on a date, why do a lot of men want to sleep with you on the first date? Because they want to skip ahead and see straight away if you are compatible in bed. There are, of course, the douchelords who just want to have fun without any commitment, but you will be able to filter them out quickly and shaft them immediately.


So, while you will not be able to change a man completely, you will be able to slow them down, and get a sprinter to become a mid-range runner. With a long-term partner, you both compromise, and both a sprinter and a marathon runner become a couple running together at a pace that is comfortable for both of them.


Men generally don't like change

couple with palm trees

We ask so many times why some women stay in abusive relationships, and that’s a whole different story, but why do men stay in relationships where they are not happy? Some of these men end up cheating instead of walking away. To put in plainly, most men don’t like change. The men that do, are a very small percentage, and these are the men who end up having high-end jobs, or become entrepreneurs; these men thrive on change, but they are the 1%.


Men won’t move until they are so uncomfortable, that the pain of changing will actually become a lesser pain than the pain of staying.

If you have a favourite restaurant, did you notice that your partner will mostly order the same dish and only very rarely try something new? Walk over to where your partner keeps his clothes. Look at the colours, the designs he wears, even how he stores his clothes (unless you are organizing his closet for him). Do you see a pattern here? So, if you want to keep a man happy, part of it is to avoid changes.


Men hate to be wrong

Oh boy, don’t they hate it with a passion. If you want to win in any situation, you can never tell a man straight up that he is wrong. They won’t even listen to logic, you could be Spock himself, and they will make up some cockamamie bullshit on why they are right, and you are wrong.

If you want a man to come to the realisation on how wrong he is, you have to make sure that it comes from him and not from you. In the end, of course it will be coming from you, but you are smarter than oppose him directly. Why do it when you can orchestrate the dialogue in a way that you might even end up with an apology?


men looking at phone

Men like to be in the know

Long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I worked as a Group HR Manager for a company with a varying portfolio, but the majority of the organization’s income came from a heavy manufacturing plant. I’m not going to lie, I have immensely enjoyed working in a male dominated environment where with these men what you saw is what you got. There was no fluff, they said things as they saw it, boiler makers, rollers, welders, they were as genuine as they come. But, let me tell you, gossip was off the charts! I have no idea why women get a bad wrap for gossiping, these guys put any woman to shame with they need to know attitude.


Again, not all men are like this, but men like to be in the circle where information is shared. Sometimes you might feel like not to share certain details, but if you think it can come up later on, with the question on why were you holding such information back, no matter how small and insignificant, just share it. Most likely it will be forgotten in 0.2 seconds, but you did your part.


Men have intuition too but most of them choose not to use it

That little voice inside your head - no, not the one that tells you how to hide a body - but the one some people call your inner voice, vibe, spirit, sixth sense, whatever you want to call it, you need to listen to it. Women do it a lot more than men do, while men try to override it with logic.


Most women I know have stories on how they listened to their inner voice when it was totally illogical, and they were right to do so, while no man I know has such tale to tell. Some men even go that far that they will ridicule you for it.

My advice is to keep this little secret to yourself and let men be blissfully unaware.


Men will not to be controlled

woman looking at phone

This is one of the vital, if not the most important points on this list. Trust me on this one, you will NEVER be able to control any man. Yes, you can abuse them and manipulate them (none of those is recommended) but they will still do what they want to do, the only difference is that they will do it behind your back.


Are you checking your partner’s phone to see what’s on there? His social media to see whose picture he liked? Do you call his work to check on him that he’s actually there? Or even worse, do you track his movements? Trust me, none of this means anything. If a man wants to do something, they will find a way to do it and you will not be able to stop them. If you have any of the above controls in place, it’s time to walk away from that relationship, because it’s already over. When the trust is gone, you will be a slave to checking on him for the rest of your life.


A man who is dedicated to you, in love, and respects you, will never go behind your back and you will not have to worry about trying to control him. That is the goal. Not to control your man, but for him to be so obsessed with you that it won’t even cross his mind to disrespect you.


Men's emotions can override logic

Most men’s actions are dictated by logic – men’s logic that is – but it doesn’t mean that on occasions their emotions cannot override it. It is never logical for a man to abuse a woman, unfortunately it still happens. Very few twisted men see it as a logical reaction for whatever the woman did or she is thought to do, it’s more like they lose control, and their emotions override their logic.

Don’t expect a man to be always logical, even though that is their default setting. If you push any man over the edge, they will do things that is out of character and about as logical as putting lipstick on a pig. Step lightly and anticipate the reaction you are aiming for.


woman in field

If even one of these points helped you, even a little bit, I have done my job. Use your newly found knowledge.

 

Gabi

xx

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